I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
