Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
