Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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