half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
