This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
