now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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