so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
