you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
