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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
