Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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