Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
