the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
