Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
