Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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