Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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