I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
