one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
