Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
someone owes me an orgasm
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize