When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
