No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
