he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
