Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
