how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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