if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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