you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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