we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize