My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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