Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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