does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
