Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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