Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
