apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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