I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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