come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
