did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
