I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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