So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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