I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
