Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
