she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
