As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
