I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
