A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
