FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We named our party play list daddy issues
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
