Just cropdusted the office
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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