I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
