I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
