tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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