i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
