Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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