her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
