I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
