everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
