Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
