Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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