I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize