I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
