I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize