I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I will pee on everything he values.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
