i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
