I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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