What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
