My room smells like vodka and shame
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
