I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
