atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize