Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
how drunk are you?
Several
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
