1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
